As an expert on all things superhero, it’s not unheard of for knowledge-seekers to … uh … seek knowledge from Team Comics on the Brain. Just recently, one such lost soul scaled the summit and entered our sacred space to us and ask “How can I get superpowers?”
This question is often posed by people seeking to right wrongs and stand up for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There’s usually something about justice in there, too.
So, how is it that one gets superpowers? It turns out that there are lots of ways to get superpowers!
We’ve boiled them down to the basics and now offer them to you. Are you ready for the power? Yes? Then try one of these simple methods:
- Get covered in a bizarre mix of unknown chemicals.
- Get killed and have a really good reason to not be dead.
- Bathe yourself in strange radiation. This can happen if you travel into space or while on a nuclear test range. Other methods include inventing a strange-radiation projector (may require a hefty financial investment).
- Volunteer for a government experiment.
- Discover a super-powered artifact. This artifact should be magical or from an alien world. If you can find an ancient artifact, that’s even better.
- Be born with super powers, though it’s probably too late for this one.
- Travel to a different solar system where the non-yellow star there reacts with your body chemistry on a cellular level.
- Invent something really useful and then don’t tell anyone about it.
- Learn magic, the martial arts and/or a special mathematics formula.
- Get a gift (or a curse) from a curious old man, a woman in a pond or an injured alien.
- Obtain a suit that has special powers, and be sure to retain the instruction manual.
- Get in a really bad accident, and then have a scientist rebuild you better … stronger … faster! (Estimated price tag: $6 million, but watch out for inflation!)
- Be rich, then spend your money buying stuff that make people think you have superpowers.
- Take technology of today into the past and/or to a less-developed planet. People are going to be really freaked out by your GameBoy 3DS.
- Be recruited into a special military unit (preferably one that patrols the universe as this usually means you get some pretty dope weapons).
- Find out you are not human, but a robot, alien or other strange creature. If possible, be a vampire because they have a nice set of superpowers.
- Get yourself hit by lighting while holding something.
- Have a sick or irradiated animal bite you. Please be aware that we are up to our gills in spider-bitten superheroes at the moment, so try something else, like a garden snail.
- Become a scientist and experiment on yourself.
- Allow yourself to become the champion of a higher power.
So there you go! We hope you now have some helpful ideas and concepts to pursue in your quest for superpowers! Don’t forget to pick up a cape on your way home!