Humans vs. animals

(Originally posted Oct. 24, 2007)

It’s been a busy time in the animal kingdom.
 It seems that their long-awaited assault on their human slavers has finally arrived, and the war has begun.
Don’t believe me?
Just look at some recent headlines from across the globe:

• Suicidal squirrel sets car ablaze — Out in New Jersey, a squirrel bent on destruction tried to knock the power out by chewing on an electric line. The buck-toothed beast apparently bit the wrong wire and was set ablaze. Apparently unhappy with the outcome, the little rascal scampered underneath a car and caught the vehicle on fire.
  It’s clear he had orders. If “Plan A” didn’t work, the only honorable thing to do was a kamikaze mission.
  Suicidal squirrels? What’s next? How about parrots who exhibit mind control!
• Parrot gets owner to kill man — Yep, they have us turning on ourselves. A clever parrot residing in Texas, squawked a “Hello!” to a man entering his Dallas home. The bird’s owner then shot the man, who died later in the hospital.
  Sure, the police and the bird’s owner say the guy was an intruder, but was he really? Or is the parrot telling them to say that?
  As if that isn’t bad enough, monkeys in India are openly waging war against humanity … heck, they’re even targeting our leaders!
• Monkey menace kills deputy mayor — Wild monkeys in New Delhi, India, attacked the city’s deputy mayor S S Bajwa while he was on a terrace. The melee went bad for the politician and he fell. He died a day later.
  But all is not lost, sometimes attacking animals do good things for us humans too. Apparently a few have defected from the animal side, probably lured by a cozy place to stay, a free scrap of food and the promise that we’ll pick up their poop.
• Just this weekend, ladybugs did their part for the betterment of humankind. In NYC, 720,000 of them were released in New York City in an effort battle some mites and aphids that have laid siege to an apartment complex there.
  This is the kind of activity we need to encourage. Get the animal kingdom fighting amongst itself again. It’s obvious we can’t hold them off on our own.