Well, I’ve just received my super-power registration form from the federales (see the previous post on Marvel Comics’ “Civil War” No. 2). I’ve got to get working and fill in the blanks — What’s that, you haven’t seen one yet?
Well, here, take a look at mine:
United States Department of Super Human Affairs
Social Security Number:
Closest living relative (include contact information):
Describe the method you obtained all previously mentioned powers:
Do you use any specialty equipment?
If so, please describe:
Where did you get this equipment?
What is your primary area of operation?
What other superhumans operate in this area?
Have you ever used your powers in the commission of a crime?
If so, please describe the incident(s):
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
If so, please describe:
Have you operated in a foreign country?
If yes, what country?
If yes, what was the nature of the operation?
Have you ever traveled extradimensionally, extratemporally or extraplanetarily?
If so, describe the method of transport and nature of travel for each expedition:
Would you be willing to work as a field operative for the United States, SHIELD and affliated organizations?
Salary sought for such duties:
Are you in a cooperative agreement with other super-powered individuals?
If so, please describe this agreement:
If so, please list the indivuals within this agreement:
Please provide contact information for these individuals:
Have you ever damaged public property while using your superpowers?
If so, please list where and when the incident occured:
What other super humans have you encountered?
For each individual, please list contact information, power description and incident description:
Are there any superhumans you would like to report informat
ion on. If so, provide name, known aliases, power description and all relevant data for each individual:
I, the undersigned, do hereby certify that I have completed this form to the best of my knowledge and agree by signing this form to undergo any test deemed appropriate by the United States federal goverment, including, but not limited to, power tests, power classification, pscyhiatric screening, genetic sampling, medical physcial, physical fitness tests, energy encoding and endurance measurements.
____________________ Print name
____________________ Sign Name
OK, okay. This isn’t really the form, in fact, I doubt the folks at Marvel Comics have even thought about what it would cover, but I imagine it would ask these types of questions. They’d be cleverly written — gently urging you to rat out your friends, incriminate yourself and take potshots at your enemies.
Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Superheroes are keeping America safe by signing their lives away!